


The Rise of Hermione Granger, Pirate Queen

by SilverChameleon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Gen, Pirates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-18 00:58:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2329403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverChameleon/pseuds/SilverChameleon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young girl living in a sleepy port town, Hermione Granger has always felt out of place. When a strange ship shows up in the port, she decides to run off and stow away. But the sailors on this ship aren't quite what she's used to, and her life may change in more ways than she expected...</p>
<p>(released on September 19th to celebrate both Hermione Granger's birthday and International Talk Like a Pirate Day)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rise of Hermione Granger, Pirate Queen

     Hermione Granger had always been a little bit strange. Things happened around her that couldn’t be explained - broken glass would repair itself, people that bullied her would have some kind of accident immediately afterwards, and sometimes when it was all too much and she ran and hid near the beach, the waves themselves would rile up as if in response. Some folk had even branded her a ‘witch,’ declaring that she was bad luck to the whole town. Nowadays, even her own parents tended to avoid her.

     The only real joy in her life was books. She loved reading all kinds of things - ancient histories, books on natural philosophy, and of course wonderful adventure stories of all kinds. The rest of the town believed that girls shouldn’t read to begin with, but the owner of the town’s one bookshop had laughed them off. “A young girl as bright as you,” he’d said, “Should read as much as she wants to.”

     But aside from the books, there was little in this town that she liked. And so, when the big ships pulled into port that fateful day, she decided to leave this dull, painful life and find something better at sea.

     She packed up all her personal belongings - largely books, as well as the few personal articles her parents had given her before her strange powers started manifesting - and tied her hair back in the style of men of importance, trying to pass as much for a boy as she could. She checked herself in the glass windows, and was a bit disappointed that it hadn’t been too hard. She had never been particularly pretty, and while she certainly didn’t resemble any sort of swashbuckling hero from her books, she certainly fit the picture of a dumpy cabin boy. With that, she ran off to the docks.

     When she arrived, she was surprised to see the bookshop owner himself standing there, talking with an incredibly elderly-looking gentleman dressed in fine clothing. She skidded to a stop and tried to duck behind something, but the two men noticed her anyways.

     “Ah, this is the girl I was telling you about, Dumbledore,” said the bookshop owner. “It seems she’s taken her own initiative on this one.”  
“I-I-I w-well, that is, I…”

     He smiled. “There’s nothing wrong with it, my dear. Well, it’s a bit poorly thought out, I suppose. But what’s life without a little adventure?” He turned to the older sailor. “Poor dear, the townsfolk give her such a hard time for it.” Whatever ‘it’ was, he didn’t say aloud.

     The sailor, Dumbledore, smiled down at her as well. It was a very kindly smile, so genuine one could scarce believe that the bearer had ever had any ill intentions at all. Her grandparents would always. Well, before they started to believe she was a witch. “Well, young Hermione? Would you like to join us aboard the Hogwarts?” He waved his hand towards the massive galleon.

     Hermione gulped. “Well, sir, I mean, if you’ll have me, I mean they say I’m bad luck, a-and I think women are suppose to be bad on sailing ships, but I really would like to, I swear I won’t cause any trouble, at least not intentionally-”

     Dumbledore held up a hand. “I dare say an extra pair of hands will be welcome, whatever gender they may belong to.” He bowed with a dramatic flourish. “We’d be happy to have you aboard.”

     With that, the deal seemed to be done. Hermione said goodbye to the old bookshop owner and followed Dumbledore up the gangplank. The ship was unbelievably large, but she was given little time to appreciate it as Dumbledore hurried her below deck. They ended up in what appeared to be a storeroom of some kind, filled with some of the strangest objects and items that Hermione had ever seen. There were strange jars filled with unimaginable things, a candle shaped like a hand, crystals balls of all shapes and sizes piled haphazardly on top of notes and papers and dried chicken’s feet, every possible inch of space being used to store something in what seemed to be no particular order at all.

     Dumbledore walked over to one of the shelves muttering, “Now where did I put it… Ah!” He pulled out a tattered-looking hat, one of the old-fashioned pointy ones, although it had somewhat lost its point with age and turned into more of a sag.  
Hermione stared at the hat for a moment, confused. It certainly didn’t look like a pirate’s hat, or any kind of modern cap that she’d ever seen. Dumbledore beamed proudly. “A little keepsake from Scotland. It’s a Sorting Hat - go on, try it on.”

     Tentatively, she picked up the hat and slowly put it on. It was easily five times the size of her head, but it still managed to stay on somehow. After split second, she heard a voice in her head.

_Another one, eh?_

     “Eep!” Hermione was startled, then embarrassed as she realized Dumbledore was still standing there. “Th-the hat… it talks?”

     Dumbledore nodded, and simultaneously she heard in her head,  _Sharp one, aren’t you? No, no, I don’t mean that sarcastically - you really had very little clues for that. Yes, I am a talking hat, although I’m not really talking right now - this is all in your head._

     Hermione closed her eyes and tried to concentrate. “So… why are you a talking hat?”  
      _Ah, one of the difficult questions. Well, that’s a bit of a long story - and I think I’ve talked a bit too much, anyhow. Apologies, I’m usually quicker at this, but it has been quite long since someone’s put me on…._

     “Quicker at what, exactly?"

      _Sorting. I’m the Sorting Hat. I Sort things. People. Students, mostly, or at least I used to, back in the day..._

     Hermione could feel a pause as the hat reminisced, though she had the impression that things weren't going quite as slowly as they felt.

      _To business, anyhow. Let’s see… certainly quite clever, no doubt about that, but… there’s something else… that love of stories, a longing for adventure… you’re not just an academic, are you? Well, if it’s adventure you seek…_

     “Gryffindor!” The hat yelled, this time actually speaking out loud. After that, it went silent.

     “Gryffindor, is it? I’m a bit surprised, Miss Granger.” Dumbledore commented cheerfully as he removed the hat and started packing it away in the closet. “But the hat doesn’t lie. We’d best get you to the _Gryffindor_ , then. Come along.”

     He grabbed her hand, and she heard a CRACK as she was suddenly overwhelmed with nausea. She wasn’t clear exactly what was happening, other than it felt like the entire room was trying to turn inside-out, but a moment later she was standing on the deck again. Except it wasn’t the same deck as she’d left - this one was a slightly smaller ship, the wood slightly red in color, and it was sitting far out from port. In fact, after a moment’s study she realized it wasn’t even the same port - they were sitting somewhere near a completely different town.

     As she was taking all this in, a young man dressed in red and gold approached them on deck. “Captain Dumbledore! We weren’t expecting you quite yet!”

Dumbledore smiled. “Ah, I’m sorry if I am interrupting anything, Percival. But I’m glad to say we have a recruit.”

     Hermione stepped forward and looked ‘Percival’ dead in the eye. (It was important not to seem weak or docile, particularly to rough folk like sailors. She’d read that in a book.) To his credit, the older boy didn’t laugh, although he certainly looked quite confused.

     “A new recruit? We’re a bit out of the way here for magic.”

     “Yes, yes. But young Hermione seems like a very bright witch, and she was recommended by a good friend of mine. Besides which, the Ministry has been stirring the waters lately and I’d prefer to have as many hands on deck as I can get.”

      'Percival' looked a bit apprehensive, but he nodded. “Alright. Hermione, is it? Come along, I’ll show you too the recruit’s quarters.”

     Hermione numbly followed behind him. It was all a bit too much to take in - she’d thought she’d be joining an ordinary sailing crew, but then there’d be talking hats and teleportation and now they were talking about magic as though it were totally acceptable. Whatever she’d gotten herself into, it certainly wasn’t going to be quite like her books.

     No, this was going to be something even better.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my dumb wizard pirate story - even if this chapter didn't include much in the way of either wizards or pirates. I swear I'm actually going somewhere with all this. Chapter 2 will be up next Friday; please stay tuned!


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